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just words

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You may be curious as to what "nasty or disgusting words" have been said by Michael or Andy and how really horrendous they were (at least regarding the causing of Andy Blair to unilaterally and abruptly terminate an "in process" signed legal Agreement where she already received her benefits and had yet to perform her obligations). 

If so, I recommend that you read as many of the emails between us as you wish (you can find them at emails-all)  You will see, I believe, that my words were not horrendous nor in other ways malicious or deprecating, at least up until way after the time when she had already unilaterally terminated her responsibilities under our Agreement.  I had really cared for her and I cared about her well-being (after all, wasn't all of this the very purpose specified in the Agreement and wasn't the Agreement obviously intended to help Andy at that time, the time of her greatest need?).   I am sure that even after the point of the termination, I still cared and it was only after things got progressively worse and I recognized that Andy would not budge in her own ("everything was his fault") scapegoat conclusions and she would not make any attempt to bring matters back to pre-Agreement positions, that I even started to think (much less than say) thoughts that were different than I had previously.  So I caution you to not compare what I am saying about her now to what I had thought and said about her when she decided that I was being destructive to her.  Before that time, I had accepted Andy's responses as that was how she always was, overreacting to situations that (well, I don't know what she thought and why she thought it, but it was most often a misreading of my words and even more so my intentions).

However, I maintained then (and again now, after reading and re-reading both the early and the later emails) that I almost always used words that were intended merely to give Andy incentives to move ahead in her financial restoration; to push Andy into doing the necessary things that, in my professional advisory capacity, she had completely ignored doing during the first 40 years of her life (things like being aware of what she spends money on, how much money she has at any time, how much money she owes, where does the money come from, how can she increase her income and/or decrease her expenditures, etc., etc., etc.).  And, ironically, in the earlier emails and discussions, Andy's annoyance was more with herself (when I used the same or similar motivations) as she repeatedly stated how she should have known better earlier in her life.  Even in the later emails, the "pushing" that she disliked so much evolved into more general directions that were more directed towards her fulfilling her obligations under all (including non-financial) problems and obligations under our Agreement.

I never used profanity (except once where I quoted Andy herself immediately after she used profanity directed towards me) and I never said things intended to demean her.  That she translated them that way probably says more about how she felt about herself rather than how I felt about her.  Going into all of this, I had nothing but the highest respect for her, the most trust in her, and considered her the best of the best of the people I knew (see the Andy Blair webpage for more on this). 

The later "rougher words" I chose to use in my emails to you that described Andy well after most of the events that I described in "the shocker" had already occurred, were conclusions that came to me in thoughts during my retrospective analysis of what had transpired between us, from the very beginning, through the days and the efforts that I made to help her, and through the days when Andy later got upset and unilaterally terminated our Agreement.  Although I think you will see that my words were mild compared to Andy's words when she either provoked my words or in her responses to my words after the fact.  

Even then, I used (as I always use) words that were intended to "suggest" or ask my reader to "consider" possibilities.  Contrast that with Andy's propensity to "move directly to final conclusions" that she had made about me wherein she immediately presented them as facts that she is acting on and/or telling me to act on the same facts.   And I would like you to consider that even now I offer my words for your own conclusions so you can do what you wish with them.  Andy not only stated what she always "knew" to be a fact but also up-graded the response words beyond anything said or even suggested to her.  In her mind, I said and did things that I never even thought of saying (quite a leap, and all in her mind).

I am sure that I am far from perfect, and I am aware of many of my defects.  But dealing with Andy was like treading on thin ice knowing that sooner rather than later I would plunge into freezing and treacherous waters.  I had truly compromised so many things and at so many times while I had been originally trying to aid this (in my opinion) lost human being.

Go ahead, I encourage you to read some (or all) of the emails .  And lest you think that elsewhere, like for instance in person, I lambasted her with much more nasty (compared to the emails) words, remember that you know me to be very soft-spoken and so shy that, in public, I have always tried to downplay my presence, and therefore would never do anything where I became "noticed" (like cause the easy-to-cry Andy to cry in public).   She actually did begin to cry once and it so effected me (even though she explained almost immediately that it had to do with other things than what she and I were talking about) that I thereafter went even further out of my way to avoid any repetition of anything like that ever again.

We, the individuals who are involved in TPOTRFOMPW, have gathered all of the information that appears on the various (and linked pages below it) webpages from conversations and other varied communications with Michael.  As a matter of fact, he was adamantly against our publishing any or all of it.  But we were too anguished by his constant reluctance to take actions quickly against this woman as well as his continuing protection of her in spite of what she did to him.  We met often and argued often and finally overruled him and after publishing all of these pages, he finally agreed to at least read and comment on them and offer some major corrections and suggest many deletions, some of which we accepted.   As these thoughts and words now approximately, and to the best of our ability, reflect his own words, they remain worded "in the first person".  He also got us to eliminate certain things like the details and amounts on the budgets and the cashflow spreadsheets and we finally agreed that the "tops" of these documents were all we would publish at this time.  We feel strongly that he has been "taken" by a greedy and malicious and immature woman who professed to be completely trustworthy to gain his confidence and trust and then she turned around exhibiting nothing of what she was before he helped her out of her very serious financial mess.   Her true colors are now showing.  We even provide evidence, something she ignored in making her own wild accusations unsubstantiated by her own words in the many emails we examined.

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